So often we live a life trapped by our own insecurities. It is when we realize that the door to our cage is open, and we have the opportunity and ability to step out, that we can go from merely existing to living. I saw an article with what they called, “The Comfort Zone Chart” in it, a few months ago, which depicted four stages. Firstly, the ‘Comfort Zone’ which is just a place where one feels safe and in control. Secondly, the ‘Fear Zone,’ which includes lack of self-confidence, always finding excuses, and one is affected by others’ opinions. Thirdly, the ‘Learning Zone,’ which means you begin to deal with challenges and problems, you acquire new skills, and you extend your comfort zone area. Fourthly, the ‘Growth Zone’ is where you find purpose, begin living your dreams, set new goals and conquer objectives. If a person can navigate these categories, they will have accomplished quite a feat. Many people can and will, but the time frame will be up to each individual. The sooner you step out of your self-imposed cage, the sooner things will begin to change in your life.
It is not unusual to face each of these stages, multiple times, however, with each victory, the stages are mastered more quickly. This could be regarding every new challenge we encounter, or just taking on each day until we become more confident. It is part of the cycle of life. Our personal ‘comfort zone’ where we feel safe and comfortable is just that because we have been there a while, and these are the people we know or the circumstances we have always faced. However, sadly, this can happen even in abusive situations. Ofttimes this is masked as a happy place, but the actors involved are far from satisfied with life. Complacency and mediocrity are like a slow eating cancer worm to our souls and begin to resemble stagnant waters that are a breeding ground for nasty algae. We must seek an infusion of courage to break free from this cage.
Once we begin to realize that we are going nowhere, nothing is changing and that we are just existing in our comfort zone, the next phase is the ‘fear zone.’ Synonyms of fear are panic, dread, alarm, horror, anxiety, just to name a few. Another word for fear is petrified, which is an overwhelming fear that can render one motionless, according to the dictionary. This is why when we find a fossil, we say it is petrified, because it has literally been changed into stone over time. At this point we have realized that there is something more to be had from life than what we are experiencing, but we are scared to death to move lest something goes wrong. Then what? All the reasons why we ‘cannot’ do anything about our plight in life begin to emerge. Suddenly, we are worried about what others will think, even though we know they never knew we existed or if they did, never cared about us anyway. We are entrapped by our worst enemy, our own mind. We must stick our leg out and just tap the door with our toes, and prove to ourselves that it is not locked, and that we can emerge like a butterfly from its cocoon.
Thirdly, we find ourselves in the ‘learning zone.’ Though we may not stray too far from the cage at first, and may go back in on occasion, we have stepped out momentarily. This is us beginning to deal with the challenges and problems that we see in our lives, knowing that surely, not everyone lives in fear, regret, sadness or even lethargy all their lives. You can put whatever label on it that represents your personal cage. Once you have emerged, you can then begin to learn new ways of coping with circumstances and learn new skills to take advantage of your new found freedom, however temporary it may be at this time. This could involve general emotions you have or specific occurrences in your life. It could have to do with personal issues regarding self, family, church, home life, employment, friendships, or lack thereof. The bars on the cages we make for ourselves are often thick, complex, and daunting, but we can break free, even if it takes multiple attempts. I read a short story recently written by Marc Chernoff called, ‘When our Old Stories Hold Us Back.’ It goes like this:
She rarely makes eye contact. Instead, she looks down at the ground. Because the ground is safer. Because unlike people, it expects nothing in return. She doesn’t have to feel ashamed about her past. The ground just accepts her for who she is right now.
As she sits at the bar next to me, she stares down at her vodka tonic, and then the ground, and then her vodka tonic. “Most people don’t get me,” she says. “They ask me questions like, ‘What’s your problem?’ or ‘Were you beaten as a child?’ But I never responded. Because I don’t feel like explaining myself. And I don’t think they really care anyway.”
Just then, a young man sits down at the bar on the opposite side of her. He’s a little drunk, and says, “You’re pretty. May I buy you a drink?” She stays silent and looks back down at the ground. After an awkward moment, he accepts the rejection, gets up, and walks away.
“Would you prefer that I leave too?” I ask. “No,” she says without glancing upward. “But I could use some fresh air. You don’t have to come, but you can if you want to.” I follow her outside and we sit on a street curb in front of the bar.
“Brrr… it’s a really chilly night!” “Tell me about it,” she says while maintaining her usual downward gaze. The warm vapor from her breath cuts through the cold air and bounces off of the ground in front of her. “So why are you out here with me? I mean, wouldn’t you rather be inside in the warmth, talking to normal people about normal things?”
“I’m out here because I want to be. Because I’m not normal. And look, I can see my breath, and we’re in San Diego. That’s not normal either. Oh, and you’re wearing Airwalk sneakers, and so am I—which may have been normal in 1994, but not anymore.”
She glances up at me and smirks, this time exhaling her breath upward into the moonlight. “I see you’re wearing a ring. You’re married, right?” “Yeah,” I reply. “My wife, Angel, is just getting off work now and heading here to meet me for dinner.” She nods her head and then looks back at the ground. “Well, you’re off the market… and safe, I guess. So can I tell you a story?” “I’m listening.”
As she speaks, her emotional gaze shifts from the ground to my eyes, to the moonlit sky, to the ground, and back to my eyes again. This rotation continues in a loop for the duration of her story. And every time her eyes meet mine, she holds them there for a few seconds longer than she did on the previous rotation.
I don’t interject once. I listen to every word. And I assimilate the raw emotion present in the tone of her voice and in the depth of her eyes. When she finishes, she says, “Well, now you know my story. You think I’m a freak, don’t you?” “Place your right hand on your chest,” I tell her. She does. “Do you feel something?” I ask. “Yeah, I feel my heartbeat.”
“Now close your eyes, place both your hands on your face, and move them around slowly.” She does. “What do you feel now?” I ask. “Well, I feel my eyes, my nose, my mouth… I feel my face.” “That’s right,” I reply. “But unlike you, stories don’t have heartbeats, and they don’t have faces. Because stories are not alive—they’re not people. They’re just stories.” She stares into my eyes for a prolonged moment, smiles sincerely and says, “Just stories we live through.” “Yeah…And stories we learn from.”
This leads us into the last zone, the ‘growth zone.’ If we are constantly telling the same old stories and keep looking back, we cannot move forward and grow. Each experience in our life is meant to teach us and help us learn from our mistakes, failures, or disappointments. We must find purpose, live our dreams, set new goals, and conquer objectives as the comfort zone chart stated. This is the zone we need to constantly be navigating through with each new day. Finding purpose allows us to look beyond the door of the cages and walk far away from it so that we may not even make it back, which is the goal. We will be so busy living our dreams and not just existing that we will not want to go back. By setting new goals daily, the memories of our original ‘comfort zone’ cage will begin to fade. Conquering new objectives will obliterate the cage, bringing us absolute freedom.
We know that we cannot do any of this on our own. We are completely dependent upon the Lord. The good thing is that though we specialize in insecurities and doubt, opening doors, setting the captive free, and bringing liberty, is His specialty. Isaiah 61:1-3 prophesied that one would come with deliverance in His hands, “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.”
Then in Luke 4:14-21 we see Jesus declare that this prophecy was being fulfilled in their midst; He was the One, “And Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit into Galilee: and there went out a fame of him through all the region round about. And he taught in their synagogues, being glorified of all. And he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up: and, as his custom was, he went into the synagogue on the sabbath day, and stood up for to read. And there was delivered unto him the book of the prophet Esaias. And when he had opened the book, he found the place where it was written, The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, To preach the acceptable year of the Lord. And he closed the book, and he gave it again to the minister, and sat down. And the eyes of all them that were in the synagogue were fastened on him. And he began to say unto them, This day is this scripture fulfilled in your ears.” John 8:36 confirms, “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”
What a blessed hope we have, to know that grace and mercy have walked into our lives hand in hand and unlocked the cage we have carefully constructed for ourselves. Though our cages may be elaborate, shiny, and comfortable, they prevent us from living. We cannot move forward and reach our full potential when we are living on our old stories. Our cages are open, but we must step out, move away from the old and then we will realize the abundant life that God has for us as we walk in our newfound freedom.