Over the years my husband and I have raised four beautiful daughters, and now we are the proud Mamaw and Papaw of four beautiful grandchildren. We have never really done anything wild, crazy, or expensive on their birthdays, because we were not able, and of course if you do it for one, you must do it for all of them, so we always just tried to do a little something for each of them to acknowledge their special day. A cake, a gift or two, balloons and décor, games and a nice family dinner was pretty much the norm. We have begun to do this for our grandchildren, at least in their beginning years, when they will not really remember a party anyway, and we will leave the rest up to their parents thereafter. It was on such an occasion, on our third granddaughter’s birthday in August, I made that trip to the closest Walmart and purchased all the fixings and trimmings for the birthday meal, a gift, and a cake for the big day. My big mistake was that I did not have the bakery attendant put the birthday message onto the cake but bought ‘writing gel’ to do it myself, along with candles.
The morning of the get together arrived and I had all the prep work done for the meal, the gifts wrapped, and had taken the cake out of the refrigerator to write the birthday message on. As I began this task, the cake icing gel began to blob all over the place, leaving the white cake covered on the top with bright green gel. I decided to scrape it off, which I did the best I could, and began over again, only to have the same result. The third time is a charm I thought, and this time I attempted with blue gel to just put the child’s name on the cake instead of an entire novel. I sufficed with what I produced on the third try, put the candles on it and waited for the family to arrive. We enjoyed the dinner immensely, lit the candles, sang the happy birthday song, and that little redhead blew out those candles with such excitement and unwrapped the gifts giggling all the while. What a successful day, with photos and videos taken to share memories in the future with others.
The dishes were cleared away from the table and the dishwasher loaded while the birthday bear was singing and dancing a jig. The families dispersed to their various homes, photos were looked at and posted on Facebook proudly, which is now the norm for proud grandparents. When Facebook automatically chose a photo from the selection to use as the cover picture for the successful birthday party album, which is the first thing you see, is the first time I noticed the grave mistake I had made. The beautiful two year old’s name, which is as beautiful as she is, in the middle of the cake in bold blue gel icing, was misspelled. Symphony was missing the y and had turned into Smphony.
I do not have the best vocabulary or memory, but I can spell, and do pride myself in writing things correctly, especially my own children’s and grandchildren’s names. I also have a master’s degree in communication, and I am always looking up novel words that I hear that sound fascinating, yet because of the messiness of life these things happen to us all. In the chaos and stress of getting everything done right and on time, the Y was left out. However, did it affect the party? No. We all looked straight at the mistake and did not even notice it, even though it was pointed out that the white cake had a green tint, and my crazy morning was explained and forgiven. We were not focusing on the snafu, but on what really mattered, which was to have a wonderful time with our family. If anyone noticed it, they did not mention it, and the bonus was that Symphony, the birthday girl is only two and cannot read. We will all experience those times in life from time to time, where everything seems such a mess, but when all is said and done, everything works out simply fine.
As I said, I do not have the greatest memory, but I do remember my wedding even though it was over forty one years ago. It was me, myself, and I, doing the planning, buying, and executing, because I did not have any family that lived close, and I could not afford to hire professionals. I worked extremely hard coming up with the color scheme, the décor, and bridesmaids’ outfits, and invitations. I chose the flowers carefully as well as the songs to be played and sung. Two days before the wedding I went to pick up the silk flowers that had been made specifically to order for my wedding, however, the color was wrong! I was devastated and I can still remember the feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had wanted deep red, almost maroon colored roses but what I was looking at was bright reddish, orange roses, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. That night was our college banquet, the next day was graduation, and the following day was our wedding day. Life at that moment was messy, stressful, and highly disappointing. I swallowed my tears and my pride, and paid the lady and walked away, not empty handed, but brokenhearted. Yet this was only the beginning of my wedding woes.
Two days later, we got to the church house for what should have been a day of happiness and celebration, ‘the wedding day.’ It was the year 1982, in the month of May, in the state of Mississippi. This all translates into heat and humidity, meaning the air was like a wet blanket. I discovered from the first trickle of sweat that rolled down the middle of my back under all that long sleeved, high collared lace, which continued for the remainder of the day, that the air conditioner at the church was broken. Well, the ceremony began, and snafu number two raised its ugly head as one of the groomsmen had to run out of the sanctuary throwing up. Number three happened when we were trying to light the unity candle, but the height had not been adjusted on the candelabra, and I could not reach the candles, though I tried desperately by standing on my tippy toes, which could be clearly seen in the wedding photos that followed. The photos also showed several of the bridesmaids’ skirts were hanging cockeyed and their blouses were untucked which makes number four problem, if anyone is still counting. Finally, snafu number five, and there are probably too many issues to tell all, many of those invited could not stay for our wedding, because the dormitories had closed. Everyone had to have all their belongings cleared out, meaning they would not have a place to stay for the extra days. Though this was disappointing, has it affected our marriage? No, as mentioned earlier, we have been married over 41 years and have only thought of these things but in passing, a handful of times, which often brings a smile to our faces now.
When your life is messy and you are worried about how things will turn out, know that days, weeks, months, or maybe years from now, these messy times will be over and thought of fondly. As an example, young first-time mothers always feel anxiety, and try so hard to do everything perfectly, and still feel that things are going wrong. They read articles and study You Tube videos to see how everything should be done and try to keep up with the Joneses. Most of the stress and mess they are feeling is self-inflicted because look at all of us how wonderfully we have turned out. Hind sight is 20/20 they say, and we often find that not everything that works for others will work for our children. The young parent will find that much effort, time and money has been wasted on outfits that have never been worn, toys that have never been played with, and moments of quality time together have been missed due to worry. They will look around and wonder, where is the Y in all that I have done.
Listening to Contemporary Christian music, I came across a new song called, “The Parking Lot,” by Michael Cochren of Cochren & Co. The song is a testimony about how an individual had an encounter with God in his car in the parking lot. God showed up for him, but it was not the place where he would ever have expected it to happen, not in the way he would have ever imagined, and on a Tuesday night, not at the time he would have thought. We all have preconceived ideas about where, when, and how we will have our divinely appointed meeting; however, God usually shows up right in the middle of our mess. Testimonies like these come in all shapes and sizes; by word of mouth, through video clips or in songs, which allow us to witness the goodness and mercy of God and realize there is hope for ourselves and our loved ones as well.
I heard one testimony which gave the account of how a man had met the Lord on the beach, such an unlikely place. Homeless and destitute, after seeing the sun rise and set every morning for months, it spoke to him of the faithfulness of God. This caused him to seek the Lord for help. Another beach testimony was that there was a man who had lost his mother unexpectedly. In his grief and sorrow, he drove to a secluded beach, stood on the shore, and screamed at the top of his lungs in anger to God. He felt like he had been abandoned and that no one understood, not even God. He shouted out, asking why she had been taken from him at such an early age. As he got back into his car, a song came over the radio waves with this message, ‘No matter what you are going through in your life, God is there with you, even when you do not see him or feel him.’
Yet another testified that one day on her trip to the store, a woman, a stranger to her, not knowing the impact it would make at that moment, asked her a simple yet earth shattering question. If she died today, would she go to heaven. They talked for hours, discussing the ins and outs of that philosophical question and what the word of God had to say about life, death, salvation, and grace. Forty years later, she is still walking with the Lord because someone had the courage to ask one question.
I saw a short video clip recently of another young woman giving her testimony. She had grown up in the church and had even been involved in ministry as she grew into her teenage and young adult years. But somewhere in all the business and messiness of life, she had lost her way. She was in a dark place in her life and found herself waking up in a cold, dark and damp prison cell. The only material that she had to read while in the prison was the Holy Bible. As she began to open those pages and absorb the word of God once again, she began to sob and weep in repentance before the Lord. He showed up and met her in that prison cell.
We see another testimony found in Luke 15:11-24, “And he said, A certain man had two sons: And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me. And he divided unto them his living. And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living. And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want. And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat, and no man gave unto him. And when he came to himself, he said, how many hired servants of my father have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, and am no longer worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants. And he arose and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no longer worthy to be called thy son. But the father said to his servants, bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.”
The father in this story, which is like the Lord, our heavenly Father, never lost hope, and was watching and waiting daily for his son to return. The prodigal son’s life got extremely messy, both literally and metaphorically. When he found himself at rock bottom, and in need, is when he came to his senses and realized he could not make it on his own. I heard a woman ministering a couple of days ago who stated, “God allows us to be tried and experience extremely difficult times, because we are so capable. If God did not allow things to get so bad for us, we would not know that He was the only one who could fix things, and He would not receive the Glory He deserves.”
Jesus received a message from a family who he was dear friends with. According to scripture, he had spent time with Mary, Martha, and their brother Lazarus on several occasions. The message in John 11:3-6 was, “Therefore his sisters sent unto him, saying, Lord, behold, he whom thou lovest is sick. When Jesus heard that, he said, this sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby. Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus. When he had heard therefore that he was sick, he abode two days still in the same place where he was.” In the meantime, back at the ranch in Bethany, the sisters were anxious, life was a mess, and they were stressed because Jesus had not come right away to be with them or help them. By the time he made his way to Judea, we know that Lazarus had already died. The girls were grieving and had already had to make the arrangements and go through with the funeral and all that entails, which is often the most stressful part. They did not have spouses and were reaching out to Jesus as a friend of the family and a support. They were upset and left with the question of Y. Where is the sense in all of this, why did Lazarus have to die, when we know that Jesus is the miracle worker, why hadn’t He come sooner?
Jesus knew what they were thinking, and even what the sisters were going through, but wanted to use this to teach that even though we may not know the why, we must trust that God is in control even when life is messy. It does not matter where we are or who we are, He will meet us there. In John 11:15 Jesus continues, “These things said he: and after that he saith unto them, our friend Lazarus sleepeth; but I go, that I may awake him out of sleep. Then said his disciples, Lord, if he sleeps, he shall do well. Howbeit Jesus spoke of his death: but they thought that he had spoken of taking of rest in sleep. Then said Jesus unto them plainly, Lazarus is dead. And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, to the intent ye may believe; nevertheless, let us go unto him.” Raised eyebrows and questions did not phase Jesus. Mary and Martha were angry with him, but He always has a reason in everything he allows in our lives.
There is not always an explanation of why the Y is missing, why things are so messy or going so wrong in our lives, except that the Glory of God can be revealed in the end when things turn out just fine. Trying to do too much at once, or focusing on the wrong things, we can cause self-inflicted chaos which can lead to messy moments and missing Y’s, but just as Jesus did for Mary and Martha, He will calm our fears if we let Him, He will make sense of it all, He will heal our sick, He will raise our dead, He will forgive our sins or He will just simply put the ‘Y’ back into the Symphony of our lives.