We have a family of geese who visit us twice a year, just passing through on their journey to escape the cold in the north, and the heat in the extreme south depending upon the time of year. My husband and I noticed them in our back pasture last week and were a little surprised since it is only July. This prompted me to do a quick search, and I found that indeed Canadian Geese will fly south between September and October and remain there until around April to June. Therefore, we were right, July is an odd month to see them, but no harm, no foul, no pun intended. More facts that we gleaned regarding geese are as follows:
These big waterfowl species do indeed mate for life! While most ducks find a new mate every year, once a goose finds a mate, they stay with their counterpart for the rest of their lives. A pair of Canada geese a familiar species, and Snow Goose, pick a mate after the second or even third year of their lives.
Geese are known for their strong pair bonds and typically mate for life, however, if a goose loses its mate, it can find a new partner. The process of finding a new mate can take some time, as geese are quite selective and form deep bonds with their partners. This behavior ensures the continuation of their species and the care of their offspring.
The male guards the nest while the female incubates. Soon after they hatch, goslings begin pecking at small objects, and spend most of their time sleeping and feeding. They remain with their parents constantly, though sometimes “gang broods” form, especially in more southern latitudes.
North America’s growing suburbs are the perfect habitat for the bird, whose population is exploding. They can also waddle indefinitely around your local office park. Migrating Canada geese, in their iconic v-formation, can fly an astonishing 1,500 miles in just 24 hours.
Geese use unihemispheric sleep when flying! Up in the air, geese flying in V-formations will use this adaptive technique of sleeping to follow their lead bird while also getting some rest. When it is the lead bird’s turn for rest, the bird will rotate positions, and another will take its place.
Geese are highly emotional and mourn the loss of their partner and eggs. Geese use as many as thirteen different calls to convey warnings, extend greetings, and express emotions such as happiness.
If they are grieving for the loss of a loved one, they often isolate themselves. Forcing them to be around other geese is not helpful for them. Just like us, we need to work through trauma or grief in our own individual ways.
One might say that much of what we need to know about relationships in our own lives could be learned from these phenomenal creatures.
The institution of marriage was established by God in the beginning of time. God realized when he had made Adam, that he was alone, and wanted to make him a help meet. First, he made the animals of the field, and instructed Adam to name all the living creatures. In so doing there was a mate found for all of them, yet Adam still did not have a suitable help meet. We see these events unfold in Genesis 2:18-22, “And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found a help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.”
God remedied the predicament that Adam was in and made him a mate, to which he responded very favorably in verse twenty-three, “And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” It is explained by Hebrew scholars that Adam is saying in this verse, after not finding any of the animals to be a compatible mate for himself, “now, finally, at last, of this one it will be said, ‘woman’”. Woman was not her name, but it described the closeness of relationship to himself and his kind. He finally had his counterpart, as did all the animals he had named previously. As we see in verse twenty-two, God referred to her as woman. God then introduces the institution of marriage in verse twenty-four, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Once you have found your mate, you leave your family and form a new one together. As we see in the tidbits about the geese, they are very selective when choosing their mates, and remain together until death.
It is quite okay, and a very smart move to be meticulous when choosing our mates too. Does anyone recognize this vow, “Until death do us part”? With this in mind, we should make sure we choose wisely. Jesus stated in Matthew 19:4-6, “And he answered and said unto them, have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Ever since the beginning, faithfulness, fidelity, loyalty, and monogamy have been important in the economy of God’s creation.
Man was created with the need for purpose and direction. Genesis 2:15-17 tells us, “And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eat thereof thou shalt surely die.” His instructions were clear and concise. Verses18-20 then go on to show that he was given a second task, “And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found a help meet for him.” Subsequently, as was mentioned before, God made him a helpmeet.
The joining of a man and a woman in turn brings on the little ones. We see this once again gives men an even greater purpose in life. As the facts about the geese showed, the father watching over the gander, the nest, and then the goslings eating, so does the head of the household take responsibility for his home and family. His task is not easy or to be taken lightly. He must provide for them, care for them emotionally, physically, and spiritually, and be their teacher and leader. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” 1 Timothy 5:8 states, “But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” Ephesians 6:4 says, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Colossians 3:21states also, “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Men have been given a tall order, but they were created to have purpose, and they have the innate ability to fulfill it!
The geese family stays together until the kids leave the nest to form their own families. When we pattern ourselves after this model, it brings communication, chatter, fun, and joy to our lives. Traveling through life together and sharing the load as the geese do in their sleep rotation, builds trust and a sense of well-being. It is wonderful to know that there is someone who has our backs. We all grow weary from time to time and need someone to help us carry the burdens of life, home, family, and work. We must know our own limitations and know when to stop, regroup, and rejuvenate, before starting out on the journey once again.
Because of their closeness, geese show signs of grieving when they lose a child, even if it is still in the egg, and as well as if they lose their partner. They are emotional creatures just like we are and need to cope with their trauma and grief in their own way. The cycle of life and death continues when the babies find their mates, move on to form their own families, or when one of the partners die. We face this in our lives as well and must learn to cope with our emotions of loss. Yet just because we know that death and loss are sure, does not keep us from trying to find our soulmate to form that unbreakable bond with them, because it is well worth the effort.
Here is a short story I read recently called, “What We Have Been Searching for All Along” by Marc and Angel Chernoff.
“About a decade ago on his 37th birthday, after spending his entire adult life loosely dating different women, he finally decided he was ready to settle down. He wanted to find a real mate… a lover… a life partner—someone who could show him what it meant to be in a deep, monogamous, trusting relationship.
So, he searched far and wide. There were so many women to choose from, all with great qualities, but none with everything he was looking for. And then, finally, just when he thought he would never find her, he found her. And she was perfect. She had everything he ever wanted in a woman. And he rejoiced, for he knew how rare a find she was. “I’ve done my research,” he told her. “You are the one for me.”
But as the days and weeks turned into months and years, he started to realize that she was far from perfect. She had issues with trust and self-confidence, she liked to be silly when he wanted to be serious, and she was much messier than he was. And he started to have doubts … doubts about her, doubts about himself, doubts about everything.
And to validate these doubts, he subconsciously tested her. He constantly looked around their apartment for things that were not clean just to prove that she was messy. He decided to go out alone to parties with his single guy friends just to prove that she had trust issues. He set her up and waited for her to do something silly just to prove she could not be serious. It went on like this for a while.
As the tests continued—and as she, clearly shaken and confused, failed more and more often—he became increasingly convinced that she was not a perfect fit for him after all. Because he had dated women in the past who were more mature, more confident, and more willing to have serious conversations.
Inevitably, he found himself at a crossroads. Should he continue to be in a relationship with a woman who he once thought was perfect, but now realizes is lacking the qualities that he already found in the other women that came before her? Or should he return to the lifestyle he had come from, drifting from one empty relationship to the next?
After he enrolled in our Getting Back to Happy Course a few days ago, desperately looking for answers, this is the gist of what Angel, and I told him:
One of the greatest lessons we learn in life is that we are often attracted to a bright light in another person. Initially, this light is all we see. It is so bright and beautiful. But after a while, as our eyes adjust, we notice this light is accompanied by a shadow… and oftentimes a large one.
When we see this shadow, we have two choices: we can either shine our own light on the shadow or we can run from it and continue searching for a shadow-less light.
If we decide to run from the shadow, we must also run from the light that created it. And we soon find out that our light is the only light illuminating the space around us. Then, at some point, as we look closer at our own light, we notice something out of the ordinary. Our light is casting a shadow too. And our shadow is bigger and darker than some of the other shadows we have seen.
If, on the other hand, instead of running from the shadow, we decide to walk towards it, something amazing happens. We inadvertently cast our own light on the shadow, and likewise, the light that created this shadow casts its light on ours. Gradually, both shadows begin to disappear. Not completely, of course, but every part of the two shadows that are touched by the other person’s light illuminate and disappear.
And, as a result, we each find more of that bright, beautiful light in the other person. Which is precisely what we have been searching for all along.”
I have always told my children, “Don’t expect the man you are looking for to be Mr. Perfect, because when and if you find him, he would probably have already found Ms. Perfect.” But just because we know we are not perfect, and that there is no man or woman out there for us who is perfect, does not mean we give up on love and marriage, and keep floundering around from person to person. Anything good or perfect comes for the Lord. We must rely upon Him to clothe us in his righteousness. James 1:17 states, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” Proverbs 18:22 states, “Whoso finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the Lord.” 1 Peter 3:7 admonishes, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” What ahigh standard God has for us to live up to.
When we commit to marriage, things are no longer about me and mine, but us and ours. The two become one flesh. We must treasure one another as we would our own bodies, minds, and souls. Therefore, it is a lofty goal to seek God and allow Him to lead us to the one that will be a compliment to us in life. Whether the goose or the gander, once we say I do, we must keep that commitment to ‘have and to hold,’ in ‘sickness and in health’ and be all in, ‘until death do us part.’ If you shine your light on the one you love to hide his or her flaws, and they do the same for you, this will hide the negatives and illuminate the positives, for yourself and those around you. Colossians 3:18-20 gives the nutshell version of instructions to the goose, the gander, and the goslings, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.”
Now, more than ever before, the family unit is under the attack of the enemy, and we should guard our hearts and minds, our spouses, children and the sanctity of our homes and marriages. Our strength as a nation lies in the strength of our homes. Do not allow Satan to creep in with lies, undermining your commitment to one another and pitting you against each other. John 8:44 states of Satan, “…When he speaks a lie, he speaks of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.” Always remember that your fight is not with your spouse or children, though it may appear to be so, by the trick of the enemy. Ephesians 6:12 says, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Take your burdens and battles to the Lord, who has already won the war and conquered sin, death, hell, and the grave. He will help you to restore that light of love in your home that will reveal beauty once again and cover a multitude of sin if you allow him to. This goes for the goose and the gander.