This is an exegetical study of Ephesians 4:30-32, but we will first look at Genesis 32:24-32 to see the setting. “And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day. And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob’s thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him. And he said, let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me. And he said unto him, what is thy name? And he said, Jacob. And he said, thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed. And Jacob asked him, and said, tell me, I pray thee, thy name. And he said, wherefore is it that thou dost ask after my name?” And he blessed him there. And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved. And as he passed over Penuel the sun rose upon him, and he halted upon his thigh. Therefore, the children of Israel eat not of the sinew which shrank, which is upon the hollow of the thigh, unto this day: because he touched the hollow of Jacob’s thigh in the sinew that shrank.” Jacob’s name, which meant deceiver, was changed to Israel that day, meaning Prince with God. The principle from the word of God shows us that you are what you are named.
Looking into our text Ephesians 4:30-32, let us begin with verse 30 which says, “And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.”
Grieve means to cause to be sorrowful, to hurt, to harm, to cause suffering or painful sorrow, to feel regret, heaviness, sadness, distress, to agonize, mourn, weep, wail, and lament. Let us look at a couple of times we see this in the scriptures. John 11:35-36 tells us, “Jesus wept. Then said the Jews, behold how he loved him!” Hebrews 6:4-6 states, “For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame.” We must not grieve the Lord.
Sealed means a dye or signet having a raised or incised emblem used to stamp an impression on a receptive substance, such as wax or led. The design or emblem itself belonging exclusively to the user, e. g. a monarch’s seal. A small disk or wafer of wax, led, or paper bearing such an imprint, and affixed to a document to prove authenticity, or secure it; attests and confirms. A substance especially an adherent an adhesive agent used to close, secure something, to prevent seepage. A device that joins two systems or elements in such a way as to prevent leakage. Let us look at a few scriptures showing how we are sealed. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost, which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore, glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” And 2 Timothy 1:12 says, “For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless, I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.”
Redemption means the act of redeeming or the condition of having been redeemed, recovering of something pawned or mortgaged, the payment of an obligation, e. g. as a government payment of the value of a bond, deliverance upon- payment of a ransom; to rescue, and salvation from sin through Jesus’ sacrifice. One example in scripture is found in 1 Peter 1:18-19, “Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot.”
Looking into our text in Ephesians 4 once again, let us read verse 31 which says, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.”
Bitterness means having a taste that is sharp, acidic, unpleasant; causing a sharply unpleasant painful, or stinging sensation; harsh (enveloped in bitter cold, a bitter wind); difficult or distasteful to accept, or admit (the bitter truth), proceedings from or exhibiting strong animosity (bitter struggle), marked by resentment, or cynicism. We see examples of this in Exodus 15:23-26, “And when they came to Marah, they could not drink of the waters of Marah, for they were bitter: therefore, the name of it was called Marah. And the people murmured against Moses, saying, what shall we drink? And he cried unto the Lord; and the Lord shewed him a tree, which when he had cast into the waters, the waters were made sweet: there he made for them a statute and an ordinance, and there he proved them, And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the Lord thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the Lord that healeth thee.” And Hebrews 12:14-15 says, “Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.” Bitterness is contagious, and we should steer clear of it immediately.
Various names have different meanings, and new parents-to-be browse through baby naming books for hours, days and weeks and even months before the baby makes its debut, discussing, fretting, and deciding what the little bundle of joy will be named. For instance, Gary means ‘spear carrier’. What comes to mind here is, Lord, change me! Anger means a strong feeling of displeasure of hospitality; Rage and fury are closely related in the sense of intense explosive and destructive emotion. This might be Gary. Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.” 2 Corinthians 7:1 states, “Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. And James 1:13-16 tells us, “Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. Do not err, my beloved brethren.”
Let’s look at another name, Garrett. This name means Mighty with the spear. What comes to mind for me here again is, Lord, change me! Wrath means forceful, often vindictive anger; A punishment of vengeance, as a manifestation of anger; A divine retribution for sin. This could be describing Garrett. Romans 1:18-21 tells us, “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them. For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.” And Romans 12:19-21 says, “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore, if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirsts, give him drink: for in so doing, thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil but overcome evil with good.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-4 says, “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)”
The name Howard means aggressive. What comes to my mind here is, you guessed it, Lord, change me! Clamor means a loud outcry, a hubbub; a vehement expression of discontent or protest; A loud sustained noise; To make insistent demands or complaints; to influence or force by clamoring. Who knows someone named Howard, and do they fit this bill? Proverbs 15:1-2 lets us know that “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.” 1 Peter 3:4says, “But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”
The name Elbert means overpowering. What comes to mind here, yes, Lord, change me! Evil speaking means morally bad, or wrong conversation; Quality of wickedness; Causing ruin, injury, or pain; Harmful; that which causes or is the source of harm misfortune, or destruction; capable of speech involving speaking or talking; ready and willing to communicate, not alienate or estranged; to speak; utter words, articulate, convey thoughts, opinions, or emotions orally; to express one’s self. Matthew 5:37 says, “But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.” Matthew 12:36, “But I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.” Philippians 1:27tells us, “Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel.” We must stop and think before we speak.
Another like name is Rupert which means violent. Again, what comes to mind here is, Lord, change me! Malice means A desire to harm others or to see others suffer; extreme ill will or spite; Law-Intent, without just cause or reason to commit a wrongful act that will result in harm to another. Exodus 20:13 says, “Thou shalt not kill.” Matthew 5:21-24 admonishes, “Ye have heard that it was said of them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore, if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.” And Romans 13:9-10 states, “For this, thou shalt not commit adultery, thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not bear false witness, thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. Love worketh not ill to his neighbor: therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law.” Obeying the ten commandments is equivalent to pleasing the moral demands of God, which are immutable, never changing.
Looking once again into our text in Ephesians 4, let us consider, finally, verse 32 which says, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
The name Alexandra means helper of mankind. If we are what we are named, then this is more like it! Kind means of a friendly, generous warm hearted nature; Showing sympathy or understanding; Charitable, a kind word, humane, considerate, forbearing, tolerant; Generous and liberal words of praise; agreeable, beneficial; actions of, showing a considerate helping nature. 1 Corinthians 13:4 confirms this, “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.” And in Luke 6:27-28 Jesus says, “But I say unto you which hear, love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.” It sounds like this name is a great choice.
The name Cassandra means inspiring love. Again, this is more like it! Tenderhearted means easily moved by another’s distress; Compassion; having or showing warm feelings, affection, adoration, doting, loving, romantic or tender. Matthew 9:36 gives us this example, “But when he saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd.” 1 Corinthians 13:5-7 regarding charity continues, “Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” As the song long ago said, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love”, it remains true today in even greater measure.
Another name we may love is Eva which means giver of life. Yes, this is getting even better! Giving means inclined or able to forgive; providing A margin for error or shortcomings; to excuse for a fault or offense, pardon; to renounce anger or resentment against; to absolve from payment, to refrain from imposing punishment on an offender or demanding satisfaction for an offense; to grant pardon without harboring resentment; Release from the liability for a penalty entailed by an offense; to receive an offer of or give an apology. Colossians 3:13-14 tells us what we need to do on this subject, “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man has a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.”
In Matthew 18:23-35 Jesus shares this parable, “Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents. But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellow servants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. And his fellow servant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt. So, when his fellow servants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done. Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wrath, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise, shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not everyone his brother their trespasses.” Our only hope of gaining forgiveness for ourselves is to also in turn forgive others.
We have been forgiven, washed in His blood, and taken on His name; therefore, old things have passed away, and behold all things have become new! We are now the bearer of a new name, Jesus Christ through our new birth experience. 2 Thessalonians 1:12 says, “That the name of our Lord Jesus Christ may be glorified in you, and ye in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.” We must lay aside our old name and identification with sin and put on Christ daily. The name of Jesus means, “Behold, Jehovah has become our salvation”! Oh, what a name and what a promise. Allow the name of Jesus Christ and His reputation go before us, bringing Glory to Him who is worthy forevermore.