Cutting the Apron Strings

When we hear the word apron we think of grandmother, mother, housewife, cozy kitchen, and apple pie.  In the 1920’s this was the exact picture that you would see, with the apron being a symbol of good old-fashioned hospitality and the icon for the domestic princesses. However, they have served a plethora of purposes before and since that time.  The word apron originates from the French word ‘naperon’ in Medieval times. Many styles of aprons were made in varying forms, colors, and materials, as over garments that protected one’s clothes when doing tasks where you get soiled. Cooking was only one of those tasks. Others were made as decorative pieces or for ceremonial use. There are bib aprons, bungalow aprons, tabard and pinafore aprons. Some made specifically for children and others for various trades. Some fastened with snaps, some with ties in the back and some on the sides, and heavy-duty aprons might have brads or buckles. Besides grandmother, you might find butchers, bakers, nurses, blacksmiths, store attendants, beauticians, carpenters and many more categories of persons wearing aprons. The apron has seen its rise and fall over the years in popularity but has made a comeback since the last 20^th century due to the emergence of crafting and rising chefs. Thanks to the public TV and Food Networks we can all wear out aprons with confidence again.

A harness or leash for children is a very controversial subject. I for one do not like them because I feel that a child should be taught to obey your word and voice on command. Parents should have a voice of authority that the child knows and reacts to immediately. “Oh boy, they meant what they said, I’d better obey right now!”, should be in their subconscious, even before they are of an age to articulate that thought process.   However, I do see the other side of the equation and realize each one must make their own decisions when it comes to child rearing. That is a different subject for another article, but I said all that to say, though we think this is a new concept from the 1900’s it all goes back to the apron. In 1995, Kaufmann made a child leash that resembled a stuffed animal, which was considered more socially accepted than his predecessors’.  Rosalie C. O’Connor called her design a child safety harness in 1919. It was made of leather with eight metal buckles. As most parents would concur, we could be to the store and back by the time you could put that thing on the child. Of course, keep in mind we all have cars now. Just a thought, but it sure would be a task within itself. Each decade has its version of the child restraining or controlling device, but the apron is where it all started.

Before there were playpens, highchairs, leashes or harnesses a mother or caregiver would tie the child to her apron strings, some would also tie a bell to their children’s aprons to keep track of them.  There are portraits showing the silk cords that were used as an extension of the apron string, especially for more formal occasions. One can be seen from 1630 painted by Cornelis de Vos of himself and his family. An older sister is shown holding her little brother at bay for the painting with a silk cord, even though he is also holding his eldest sister’s hand.  That little fellow is not going anywhere!  1931- 32, there is a depiction of a boy, ‘don Luis’ with his mother painted by Diego Velazquez showing him holding a silk scarf and her holding the other end, AND he has a bell on. He must have been quite rambunctious. This trend was popular even in kings’ palaces. There was a portrait painted in 1717 – 20 of Louis XIV with his children and their governess duchesse de Ventadour, Charlotte Eleanore Madeleine de la Mothe Houdancourt. It was done in honor of her because she had saved the life of Duc d ’Anjou’s when he contracted measles during the 1712 epidemic, who later became Louis the XV.  It was said to be painted by Francois de Troy, of the French School in the 18^th Century, and he did not miss the fact that the young lad was being led and held onto by a silk cord. He also captured the prince’s two dogs incidentally.  How fascinating.

Let us think about this from the child’s perspective for a moment. To the child, this was not a negative thing, especially if this is what they had always known from the time they could move about.  If you’re attached to mother, you have everything you need. You are fed, clothed, can play well, depending on the length of cord given, kept from the elements and from harms way. This is a win-win scenario for the child. They have need of nothing. However, the time comes when the lessons learned in life must go beyond the scope of the apron strings. The infant becomes a toddler, then a preschooler, then a kindergartner and then of course they develop from there. Children learn by doing hands on activities such as house chores, swimming, fishing, swinging and the list is endless. Going to school is of course an absolute time when the apron strings must be let loose, and we would agree with that in a physical sense, however, what about the emotional, physiological, psychological, and spiritual sense. Not only has the child become reliant upon the mother or caregiver, but the opposite is true also. The one who has told them every move to make and has protected them from all outside forces for years now has to allow them to go and experience for themselves the realities of life, and the child in turn must let go. The dependency has become mutual. The child may go on and do well, however, the mother often questions what her purpose going forward will be. No one said it would be easy, but if it doesn’t happen timely, a retardation of maturity and relationship begins to take place.

The symbolism of the apron over the years has been one of cleanliness, purity of mind and thought, labor and servitude. Chefs and doctors alike have chosen white as the color of their aprons and lab coats for this very reason, to denote purity and an openness to help others. Chefs for the joy of seeing the pleasure of their patrons and doctors and nurses for the joy of seeing healing come to those they serve, with all sincerity, which in the dictionary means honestly and without hypocrisy, pure and truthful.  The apron does not cover up dirt but is to prevent the clothes under it from getting soiled. That mother or care giver has served faithfully and had dirty little hands and snotty noses on her apron for years. There comes a time for her to take it off and refresh, and on the other side of the coin, there comes a time that the now growing child must put on their own apron and begin to serve others.

From the very beginning of time, an apron is mentioned in the scripture, however, Adam and Eve had the wrong idea of their use. Genesis 3:6-7, “And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves aprons.”  An apron of fig leaves could not cover their sin and disobedience to God’s command, and they were still naked.  When God confronted them regarding what they had done and the conversation ensued, God killed a lamb and made them clothes to cover their nakedness.  Hebrews 9:22 tells us, “And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission.”  God subsequently sent them out of the Garden of Eden to go serve. The blood is for our covering, the apron is for service.

The Old Testament high priest and priests were given instructions to wear an Ephod. This was an elaborate linen apron worn over their sky-blue tunics which were specific for their service and ministering in the tabernacle and later the temple. Exodus 31:10, “And the cloths of service, and the holy garments for Aaron the priest, and the garments of his sons, to minister in the priest’s office.” Interestingly, or coincidentally, you choose, they were to also have golden bells on the fringes.  Exodus 28:4-6 & 33-35, “And these are the garments which they shall make; a breastplate, and an ephod, and a robe, and a broidered coat, a mitre, and a girdle: and they shall make holy garments for Aaron thy brother, and his sons, that he may minister unto me in the priest’s office. And they shall take gold, and blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine linen. And they shall make the ephod of gold, of blue, and of purple, of scarlet, and fine twined linen, with cunning work. And beneath upon the hem of it thou shalt make pomegranates of blue, and of purple, and of scarlet, round about the hem thereof; and bells of gold between them round about: A golden bell and a pomegranate, a golden bell, and a pomegranate, upon the hem of the robe round about. And it shall be upon Aaron to minister: and his sound shall be heard when he goes in unto the holy place before the Lord, and when he cometh out, that he die not.”  When David danced before the Lord, though he was not a priest, he did it as an act of service and was knowledgeable regarding the requirements of service. 2 Samuel 6:14, “And David danced before the Lord with all his might; and David was girded with a linen ephod.”  

We all have our spiritual journey to maturity to take and it is different for all of us.  Some will cut the apron strings and put their own on faster than others, however, there is no specific timeline. 1 Peter 2:2 tells us, “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:” The point is to take in as much of the word as we can and grow steadily; preparing for our own eventual service.  Paul continues to admonish, 2 Peter 3:18, “But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever. Amen.”  Hebrews 5:13-14shows us the gradual process, “For everyone that uses milk is unskillful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. But strong meat belongs to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.”  The goal is to become mature enough to sustain without being attached to the apron strings as a security. The scripture often refers to this process using the word perfect or perfection. Matthew 5:48 states, “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.”  Have you ever heard the expression, “You look just like your father!” or other similar phrases.  As we are genetically like our biological parents, when we are born again, we begin to mature and become like our heavenly Father.

We are assisted in our maturing process by spiritual parents, so that we can ‘grow up’ in the faith. Ephesians 4:11-14, “And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ: That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;”  We are also given his word that gives us the ‘wooden spoon’ treatment from time to time to facilitate our maturing process, so we will be able to serve. 2 Timothy 3:16-17, “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.” Hebrews 13:21, “Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is well pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.”

We know ‘mom’, the ‘church’, will always be there for us, but we must go from reliance to service by cutting the proverbial apron strings. There are some things we will have to learn on our own and the apron string will not be long enough, we must let go. 2 Timothy 2:15 says, “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” You cannot share the word effectively until you know and understand it for yourself.  Moms and dads, ministers and churches, let your children go out and serve. Will it be easy? No. Will they make mistakes? Yes, but it is part of the process. 1 Peter 5:10 tells us, “But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.”  Once you go through your own struggles, trials and learning experiences, you will be ready to put on your own apron of service. It may be elaborately ornate, sparkly, shiny, of rough and tough leather or just plain white. This is up to the designer. We entrust this into His hands because he knows what will best accommodate the service for which He has called us.  It is time for you to cut the apron strings.