We lived in a beautiful part of Indiana for almost 20 years where the weather was very predictable, and the four seasons were very apparent each year. When the weather began to change at the end of Autumn and you felt that chill in the air, you could be sure that freezing weather and snow were on the way. With that knowledge came the wonderful ability of knowing what you needed to wear to protect yourself and be comfortable in the elements. Better weather is ‘sweater weather’ they say. This concept however held true for all four seasons there. No guesswork needs to be done in the morning before work or school about what type of clothes you would need to wear and what the evening coming home would look or feel like. And then we moved South.
We now live in an equally as beautiful part of Tennessee. This is my husband’s old ‘stomping grounds,’ but it was a new experience for myself and our daughters. The saying here is, “If you don’t like the weather, just ‘wait’ a few minutes.” Therefore, throughout the day, there is bound to be some weather that shows up that will be to your liking, but possibly short lived. You may leave the house in the morning wrapped up like an Eskimo, and by the time you are leaving work it could be 80 degrees and you are trying to shed clothing as you walk to your car. So, the answer is always, just ‘wait’!
There is another type of circumstance in which people give us advice to ‘wait.’ This is the health industry. There have been so many fads and diets that have come out over my short sixty years of life that it is hard to keep up with them all. All the programs come with the disclaimer that you must be patient and wait for the result because everyone’s body is different, and as true as that is, there is not one of them that will work, no matter how extensive the research and clinical trials have been done to prove they do, unless you follow the actual plan they have laid out. Those who are not naïve will of course know the other side of that coin is that once you stop following the prescribed plan, you will begin to gain the weight back that you had lost before. The better advice to you and me, which has now begun to surface in various forums, is that we should endeavor to maintain a ‘healthy lifestyle’, so that you are not on the yoyo of weight gain and loss forever.
Besides the lists of what to eat to be healthy, the ‘healthy lifestyle’ theory comes with suggestions such as, slow down when you are eating, take smaller bites, chew your food thoroughly, after a couple of bites just sit still, relax, and ‘wait’ for your food to digest. It is said that it takes twenty minutes for your mind to receive the statistics and message, to realize your stomach is full; therefore, if you stuff yourself now, you will be miserable about twenty minutes after you leave the table. There are good reasons for these, what may seem obvious tips, especially for those of us who live in the United States. We are eating on the go all the time, or guzzling food while talking ninety to nothing, and we continue to cram our mouths full almost swallowing without chewing or enjoying the delicious flavors that could have been an entire experience in and of itself. In buffet settings we fill our plates two or three times not including salad, soup, and dessert, and just keep eating to try and get what we feel is our money’s worth. So many of us can attest to the fact that when we leave a restaurant, we feel stuffed and miserable. The fact of the matter is, how many were really, I mean really, hungry before you even sat down to eat?
Another piece of advice is that you should abandon the notion that you should ‘clean your plate’ before leaving the table. My children had horror stories of eating soggy cereal at their grandparents’ house, because they thought they were done, but low and behold, you know what papaw said. You guessed it, “We do not leave until we have cleaned our plate.” Or you may have heard this one, “Clean your plate, there are starving kids in China.” I could never understand what me finishing my food would do for the kids in China, but I know now what they were trying to convey. This, however, has subconsciously taught the American children to just keep eating whether they are full or not, which has led to health issues as they have gotten older. If we could learn to put smaller portions on our plate and then go back for seconds if we are indeed still hungry, this may solve more than one problem. I have not done any studies recently about the kids in China, therefore, I cannot speak to that subject, but we can allow our children to stop eating when they are satisfied.
We also get advised to ‘wait’ when disciplining our children. We know that according to scripture they must be disciplined. Proverbs 13:24 states, “He that spares his rod hates his son: but he that loveth him chastens him betimes.” Yikes, we do not want to be counted amongst that bunch. However, when we discipline them in anger, we may just be guilty of having a ‘temper tantrum’ ourselves, out of embarrassment, hurt pride, and frustration of the moment and because our day has just been ruined. In this scenario, you could potentially cross the line into abuse because you are out of control, and no lesson will be learned, which is therefore not discipline. “The word “discipline” comes from the Latin word “disciplina,” which means “instruction and training” and is derived from the root word “discere,” meaning “to learn”. The root word of “discipline” is “disciple,” which means “student”. The verb form of “discipline” means “to subject to (penitential) discipline, correct, chastise, punish”. The word “discipline” can also mean “instruct, educate, train”. This is self-explanatory; though I am a proponent of spanking at times, it may be more beneficial to stop, take a step back, ‘wait,’ and have a mini learning session, to be able to say with full assurance, “I disciplined my child today.”
We live in an impatient world. A ‘microwave, google search’ society, always desiring instant gratification. Waiting is not this generation’s strong suite, but it is a needed lesson to learn. We do not like waiting at a traffic light, a checkout line, or the speed limit is forty miles per hour, but we are careening down a side road doing sixty. Waiting at an amusement park for a ride is arduous, but we often do it, but if we have a lengthy wait predicted at our favorite restaurant we will often pass and just go to McDonalds. Waiting is just not our forte, however, we need to discipline aka disciple ourselves to know how to ‘wait.’ You have heard it said, “Good things come to those who wait.” This is a nice sentiment, however, I am not sure if anyone of us can give that guarantee, but with waiting we can grow in the Lord, gain understanding and wisdom to manage things that come our way, whether they are good or bad. Galatians 5:22-23 includes this in the fruit of the Spirit, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” In a ‘healthy spiritual lifestyle,’ we are to bear these wonderful fruits, so that passersby can glean nourishment from our lives.
We also find it difficult to ‘wait’ for that promotion, that we feel we should have been in line for years ago, or that miracle or promise that we have asked the Lord for months on end. We think everything should happen immediately, without stopping to realize that the timing may not be right. We may not be asking the right questions. The place we feel we should be in may hold pitfalls for us or our families. We may need more time and experience under our belts to be able to handle that position or miracle. God has a panoramic view of our lives and all He is asking us to do is ‘trust’ and ‘wait.’ Paul said in 2 Corinthians 5:7, “For we walk by faith, not by sight.” Mary, who was a virgin girl after being told that she was pregnant, was probably horrified. She did not understand what was going on. They knew a Messiah was to come, but they had no idea that it was going to be this way. But the scripture tells us in Luke 2:19, “But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.” Isaiah 40:31 says, “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” We gain understanding and perspective by ‘waiting.’
Recently I was listening to a preview of a course for continued learning required by my employment, which was remarkably interesting. The subject was, ‘Coaching and Developing Employees” given by Professor Lisa Gates and a statement she made prompted me to stop and ponder, ‘wait,’ digest, and meditate on the thought. As she was explaining how to develop employees, from a manager’s point of view, she disclosed the acronym that she has adopted, which is W.A.I.T, that stands for, “Why am I talking?” This is a philosophy that she has implemented in her personal dealings with others. She said she asks herself these questions early on in a meeting or confrontation. She stated, “I think to myself, Should I stop talking and think before I spout off? Should I hush or keep talking? Why am I still talking? Do I have something valid to say? Do I have something to add to the situation? Am I giving positive feedback or am I being negative? Am I being uplifting or tearing down? Am I talking enough or too much? Is what I am saying pertinent to this situation? I must tell myself to stop, hush and listen!” I say, “Wow,” it would serve us all well to adopt this mindset.
Listening is an exercise in ‘waiting.’ We must hear what the other is saying to us, evaluate what they are not only saying, but what they are trying to convey and respond accordingly. When we take this approach, we can connect to that person, their needs, and produce solutions to any existing or potential issues that may arise. This is not only good practice for the workplace, but in every situation, we find ourselves in in life. The human condition is fragile, must be treated with care, respect, and patience. Often people are not looking for advice or anyone to fix things for them, but just for a listening ear. Someone that will stop long enough to hear their hearts cry.
We can make effective use of the acronym W.A.I.T, “Why am I talking?,” in our prayer lives as well. A conversation is a two way street. Two parties having a discussion. If we will not shut up, we cannot hear what God is trying to tell us. Jesus told his disciples, in Luke 11:1-4, “And it came to pass, that, as he was praying in a certain place, when he ceased, one of his disciples said unto him, Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples. And he said unto them, when ye pray, say, Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, as in heaven, so in earth. Give us day by day our daily bread. And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.” As teenagers we were taught the model of prayer by breaking this down into sections using the ‘Hamburger’ visual aid. As this was taught, the teacher put each section of the sandwich up, until finally, we could see the full burger. Children and teens can relate to this type of teaching and digest, understand, and remember the subject more readily. So let me explain it to you. The two buns are Praise and worship; we must begin and end our prayer with praise and worship. Then there is the meat, lettuce, tomato, and cheese in the middle which are, petition for our daily needs, repentance for our sins, intersession for the forgiveness of sins and salvation for others, then guidance, and protection.
When we practice these concepts, it will be easy to teach our children as well as new Christians, how to pray as they grow and mature in understanding. In Matthew 6:7-8 Jesus prefaced his teaching on prayer by saying, “But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knows what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.” God already knows our needs, but he wants us to be candid and honest with Him. Asking for what we need is an acknowledgement of how inadequate we are and how Almighty He is to provide, guide, protect and save us in any situation that may arise in our lives. Once children are to an age of understanding, the pre-canned prayers of ‘now I lay me down to sleep’ and ‘God is great, God is good, let us thank Him for our food’, should be replaced with their own little heart’s desires and giving of thanks in their own words, so their faith and trust in the Lord can be built.
Once prayer, which is a conversation with God is complete, we should put the W.A.I.T philosophy into practice, “Why am I talking?”, because this is the best time to practice Psalm 27:14, “Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” Incorporating the word of God into our prayer time, when our hearts are receptive to His Spirit, is a wonderful way to receive direction, pondering and waiting on what God is telling us, and where he may be leading us.Psalm 1:1-2 states, “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditates day and night.” Praying aka verbalizing the Word in our prayer time can also be a powerful experience, because His word is alive, dynamic, and ever settled in heaven. Jesus told His disciples in Matthew 18:18, “Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” We have strength, power, and authority when we have spent time in the presence of the Lord and in His word, and when we hush and let Him get a word in edgewise. In Psalms 46:10 God tells us, “Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.”
We have examples in scripture of how there is a time to stop, hush, and ‘wait’ upon the Lord to be renewed. In Matthew 4:10-11 we see Jesus setting aside time to pray and fast in the wilderness, and after being tempted we read, “Then saith Jesus unto him, get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve. Then the devil left him, and behold, angels came and ministered unto him.” We see Mark 1:13 recounting similar events, “And he (Jesus) was there in the wilderness forty days, tempted of Satan; and was with the wild beasts; and the angels ministered unto him.” In Luke 22:39:44 it tells us, “And he came out, and went, as he was wont, to the mount of Olives; and his disciples also followed him. And when he was at the place, he said unto them, pray that ye enter not into temptation. And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed, Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless, not my will, but thine, be done. And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him. And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.”
The Lord will minister to us if we let Him. Psalm 34:1-7 says, “I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make her boast in the Lord: the humble shall hear thereof and be glad. O magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt his name together. I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked unto him and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed. This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps round about them that fear him and delivers them.” Let us add the W.A.I.T concept to our lives, and ask ourselves not only when dealing with others, but with God, “Why am I talking?” He has something relevant to say, but we must stop and listen. Read His word and meditate upon it day and night and He will increase us in knowledge, understanding and wisdom. In Psalm 119:88-93 David said, “Quicken me after thy lovingkindness; so, shall I keep the testimony of thy mouth. Forever, O Lord, thy word is settled in heaven. Thy faithfulness is unto all generations: thou hast established the earth, and it abides. They continue this day according to thine ordinances: for all are thy servants. Unless thy law had been my delights, I should then have perished in my affliction. I will never forget thy precepts: for with them thou hast quickened me.”
God’s word has already been given and is immutable, meaning it will never change, but He will customize his word to our lives and make it relevant and understandable to us if we will give Him the chance. When we stop trying to wrestle it into something we think it should say, hush and ‘wait,’ all the pieces of the puzzle will fall beautifully into place. The poem of our lives will once again have rhyme and reason. The melody of our lips will once again be harmonious. The desires of our hearts will be fulfilled in Him. With that being said, “Why are you still talking?”