There is much more to be said for the ‘Mom and Pop’ restaurants and grocery stores on the corner, than we realize in the world of ‘big corporations’ in the 21st century. We should never underestimate the value of these smaller establishments. Never think that our forefathers did not know what they were doing and were just ignorant country folk. They were the very foundation of ‘Corporate America’ as we know it today. As the saying goes, ‘Rome was not built in a day,’ but it was built one day at a time. The comfort, intimacy, attentiveness, and camaraderie that the little ‘Shop Around the Corner’ had, as seen in the 1998 movie, ‘You’ve Got Mail’, far outweighed the cold, sinister and impersonal setting of the huge ‘Fox Bookstore’ that was ultimately the demise of the small shop. The ‘Ole’ grocery or mercantile stores we see in movies such as ‘Little House on the Prairie’, had just about anything they could desire or think of at the time, and because they knew the attendants and were known by them, they could even purchase items on credit, which was just a running pencil and paper tab that they kept, until they could pay for their items. This is not something that was afforded to a stranger or sojourner, but those who had a good reputation and had built a good rapport and camaraderie with the merchant.
Camaraderie sure is a fancy word! According to Websters Dictionary it means, “a spirit of friendly good-fellowship.” It also states, “Camaraderie comes from French camarade, which is also the source of English’s comrade, meaning “friend or associate.” Camarade means “roommate,” “companion,” or “a group sleeping in one room.” It is related to Latin camera, meaning “chamber.” Synonyms would be brotherhood, community, companionship, company, comradeship, fellowship, and society. Antonyms are dislike, enmity, hatred, hostility, antipathy, acrimony, and animosity.” Though the word is fancy sounding, it is not a new concept to us. It is something that should happen as a normal part of life. In every relationship, genre, circumstance, and era. It could simply be known as getting along, teamwork, or working together. Unfortunately, in the day and age we are living in, to create what they think is camaraderie, such as sports events in schools, friendships on the playground, or companions from church, it often becomes a competition.
Dealing with young people and competitions where there are winners and losers, or second and third place with only one winner, does not always generate camaraderie. Often resentment is fostered which then leads to a lack of effort on the part of the children who lack skills or the confidence to try when they are always losing. On the other hand, the same is true in dealing with young people in competitions, in trying to circumvent the former scenario, the philosophy is adopted that ‘everyone is a winner,’ ‘there are no losers’ and ‘everyone will get a participation ribbon.’ In this situation, those who do want to try to win and push themselves may stop doing so, because they will develop the mindset of ‘if no one is going to be a winner, why should I even try or put forth an effort.’ Animosity can set in, which we know is the opposite of what we are wanting to accomplish. After all, if you just get a ‘pat on the back’, just like everyone else, and others are earning popularity from your achievements even though they cannot hold their own in the game, and you know clearly you should have won, you begin to question the worth of what you’re doing.
Unfortunately, with life throwing so many things at us daily, young people are having to learn these lessons from an incredibly early age. It has always been that way, but lessons in each generation have their own nuances. They will need these lessons before they can start ‘adulting’ as they say, and competition is one of the ways we strive toward something where there may or may not be a reward at the end. Learning how to be kind to others no matter the outcome, the rules or lack thereof, is the end goal that God expects from His children, and we must teach to ours. Having good sportsmanship, being a good loser, congratulating and complimenting others, does make you a winner even though at an early age you do not fully understand it all yet. For this reason, multiple lessons are lost by taking out the competitive aspect of events. Whichever side of the coin we find ourselves on we must try to manage it with grace. These lessons and experiences in life can flow into lifelong friendships and relationships, aka camaraderie.
Do not be that parent that makes a stink when there are valuable lessons for your children to learn, because you think they are being treated unfairly. Life is often unfair, and again this is a lesson that will go with them through life. When they get to high school, university, or college, in the workplace, or in their own future families, they will need as many life lessons under their belts as possible. Teamwork will be expected in every aspect of life. It is essential that they learn that we are not all cookie cutters of one another, but that we all are unique and have various skills, talents, and perspectives to bring to the table. One may have strengths in an area where you are deficient, and vice versa. One may have brilliant ideas in one area, and not have a clue what to do in a different circumstance. This can become evident in the workplace when ‘spit balling’ ideas. Someone may pop up with an idea you would have never even imagined could be possible. Some folks are visionaries, planners, and others are doers and can execute the plan. Some are leaders and others are followers, yet both are necessary. We must all get along, and work together. One person’s way is not always right and the other wrong. Our differences complement the other, get the job done, and the fringe benefit of this is it builds camaraderie.
Having camaraderie within a team, family, or relationships, does not mean you will always agree with one another on everything. You have heard it said that opposites attract. The shear definition of that statement would show that you will not always agree. Compromises must happen at times to allow life to run smoothly. You may not want to go fishing but may enjoy hearing your spouse’s fishing stories. Loving one another and having interaction and camaraderie does not mean you lose your own identity. Loving others is not camaraderie, but camaraderie can certainly develop from this, and can be a fringe benefit along life’s way. Romans 14:19 says, “Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.”
Jesus grew up in Nazareth on the shores of the Sea of Galilee, and being the son of a carpenter, probably worked in that trade until age 30 until he began his earthly ministry, and left home. It was said that Nazareth only had a population of around 120 to 400 people during that time. Nathaneal stated in, John 1:46, “Can there any good thing come out of Nazareth?” Jesus knew what camaraderie was, coming from the same place as the disciples except for Judas. They were all community members, albeit from different tribes of Israel, and were personal acquaintances if not friends. They possibly went to the same schools as children. They were all tradesmen in and around Galilee. Jesus knew the preliminary steps to ministry is to build a rapport with those you want to minister to and to have a good reputation that will precede you. He tried to build a relationship with Nathaneal in John 1:46-51, “Philip saith unto Nathaneal, Come and see. Jesus saw Nathanael coming to him, and saith of him, behold an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile! Nathanael saith unto him, whence knowest thou me? Jesus answered and said unto him, before that Philip called thee, when thou wast under the fig tree, I saw thee. Nathanael answered and saith unto him, Rabbi, thou art the Son of God; thou art the King of Israel. Jesus answered and said unto him, Because I said unto thee, I saw thee under the fig tree, believest thou? thou shalt see greater things than these. And he saith unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Hereafter ye shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of man.”
We live in a day where ministers want to fly in and fly out, stay here or there for just a year, and then leave to seek a more illustrious setting or more compensation, however, their ministry will never be fruitful with that mindset. People do not trust someone they do not know, and this trust is built by spending time with them and their community. We learned early on in bible college, that it takes 3 to 5 years to become established if you take the pastorate of a church in a new community. You are a stranger to those people, therefore, your words will have no weight with them, until you have established a relationship with them. They want to know that are going to stick with it and not leave them high and dry. Get to know your core group who will be the foundation of the congregation, because everyone else who comes and goes will just be scaffolding. They help with the building, but when things do not go their way, they will move on to greener pastures. They can also be considered just gravy. Not the ‘meat and taters,’ just the little extra on the side. Do not put your focus on the scaffolding or the little extras to the neglect of the foundation or the church will crumble. The New Testament church was built beginning with just a handful of men willing to ‘take up their cross’ and follow Jesus.
The church is a lighthouse to point the way to safety for those who are faltering and lost. Ultimately, salvation is a personal choice, and we are not the Savior, but offering friendship and camaraderie, will lead them to the one who can save them, Jesus Christ. A personal relationship with Him is what we all need in this helpless world. Jesus had the backs of his disciples because of the relationship they had, yet because of His heart of compassion, he had the back of the multitude as well. This is seen in John 14:15-22, “And when it was evening, his disciples came to him, saying, this is a desert place, and the time is now past; send the multitude away, that they may go into the villages, and buy themselves victuals. But Jesus said unto them, they need not depart; give ye them to eat. And they say unto him, We have here but five loaves, and two fishes.” He said, Bring them hither to me. And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass, and took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and broke, and gave the loaves to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude. And they did all eat and were filled: and they took up of the fragments that remained twelve baskets full. And they that had eaten were about five thousand men, beside women and children. And straightway Jesus constrained his disciples to get into a ship, and to go before him unto the other side, while he sent the multitudes away.”
The disciples were afraid when the storm came upon them, and even though Jesus was exhausted, he got up from his nap and calmed the storm. When they could not catch any fish, which was their profession and livelihood, he went out of his way to tell them to go out again, and they would bring in a great catch. They witnessed miracles day after day. People say that miracles do not happen in our day, but I would have to differ with you on that. Maybe the blinded eyes do not get healed in your church or home, but are there any blind who need healing there? Maybe the people with leprosy are not cleansed in your neighborhood, but are there any lepers there? However, he could have healed your body from untold diseases, he is the one who got you that job, or that monetary raise, or provided those groceries on your table for your children or saved your family member, which is the greatest miracle of all. He works on our behalf, he has our backs, he is our friend, and we are his. We must cherish the camaraderie with him and keep his commandments. Jesus’ mother, Mary, at the wedding in Cana, basically encouraged him to be a good sport, and help the bride and groom and their families out of a potential embarrassing situation. She asked him to ‘save the day,’ and he did, though he did not think it was the right time to start his ministry. Jesus’ mother knew the value of camaraderie with her son and the community, which prompted His first miracle on earth. Having a relationship with others does not always mean you will agree, as seen in this account, but it does ensure that you will be looking out for each other, even if you agree to disagree.
It is true that birds of a feather flock together, and you will gravitate towards those who share the same passions that you have. However, we can be a part of an activity with others because we like a particular activity, without becoming a part of their culture or adapting their belief system. Jesus used camaraderie to change those he met, not to conform to who they were. He spent time together with the sinners, publicans, and tax collectors to display his righteousness, to build a relationship with them, so that when he spoke, his words would carry the weight and authority that they deserved. He knew his audience. He connected to people through intellectual conversation, some through emotional understanding and others through their desire for the spiritual and supernatural in their lives. You could be a part of a larger group and have only one thing in common with them, like your employment for instance. You may have nothing else in common with your coworkers besides the job, but you can use that as your platform. You may meet someone who likes to ride a horse and is part of an Equestrian Club, so you join. You may only have that one activity in common with them, but that can be used as a platform to build a relationship with them. We so often look at all the things we do not have in common and use them as excuses to not become involved with others, when Jesus is saying, loving others leads to relationships and camaraderie, which leads to trust, which in turn leads to life and soul saving moments.
Let us be the one who initiates the helping hand and extends the offer of friendship to show God’s love to others. Seek for the commonality you have with others and not the differences. If you are lonely and in need of friendship, do not always wait for others to invite you to an event, but create an event to invite them to. Lunch, dinner, or a walk in the park are wonderful ideas, just to name a few. Jesus broke bread with everyone that would have him. The human heart desires and longs for connection with others. It is an inbuilt feature, put there by our creator. Let us stop being afraid that others’ flaws or faults will rub off on us, and reach out in the spirit of fellowship, kindness and love as Jesus did, as an example to us during his earthly ministry, and see your life and theirs transformed. You will be pleasantly surprised at the extraordinary fringe benefit of camaraderie that you will glean just a small investment.